Berkshires Community Response (Part 1): Whose role is it to care — and for whom?
As part of MASS MoCA’s July 2021 Community Day, dozens of Berkshires residents visited with the CARE SYLLABUS co-directors and wrote reflections on the pressing valences of care shaping their lives. In this 3-part series, we feature community responses to the guiding questions of our project. First up: “Whose role is it to care — and for whom?”
WHOSE ROLE IS IT TO CARE - AND FOR WHOM?
“For those who wish to be a voice for change. For those who wish to be a voice for those who are unable to advocate for themselves for whatever reason” -Kristel, 47
“It’s a responsibility to ourselves and each other, that begins with ‘I care.’” - Anonymous
“Ideally, everyone’s role is to care for each other, the labor somehow equally distributed. In practice, we care for our loved ones to the point of collapse. Without the state funding care, I imagine I will one day be solely responsible for my brother. I think about this everyday. Whether it’s my job. Whether I can set boundaries. Or if, since I believe disabled and mentally ill folks should be cared for, I will take him in and put his needs first. I do not know which of us matters more.” - Lauren, 23
“I think it is our job to let those around us know that someone cares when they do well, need help or want to be heard. People’s lack of care for others leads to destruction. If someone feels heard and cared for, then they will likely pass that care onto others, so it is important for us all to do our part.” - Lydia
“Throughout the Covid-19 pandemic, there were moments when the people who deserve to be cared for were instead neglected or overlooked. There are people in the world who cannot afford treatments for their illnesses; people in the world who are mistreated and discriminated against based on race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc; and people who are working hard on the sidelines but do not receive recognition.
Also, the pandemic has been a difficult time for all of us, physically, mentally economically and socially. I believe that we all have a role to care for each other. We receive so much from our communities that we should care for those who provide for us.” - Anonymous, 63“It is everyone’s role to care for everyone else on earth. Unfortunately, this is more of an idea than a realistic mode of operation. Limited resource prevent us from doing so, thus, institutions, need to be formed whether private or governmental, to be able to pull resources from the countless individuals in order to care for others. This is why social welfare programs and private charities are important.” - Anonymous, 61
“It’s your role to care for yourself. You are the person you will be spending the most time with your entire life. It’s most important that you care about them. Love flourishes where love resides. Caring for yourself will make you grow stronger, and help you be able to care more for your friends, family and beyond.” - Yuchan, 19
“As a social worker, care makes me think of empathy — not only for other people, but for communities we know and don’t know, as well as for nature, including animals and the climate. We have an obligation to teach the next generation how to care and what to care about, in order to make this world safer and more comfortable.” - Anonymous
“My role is to take care of my family. I am really proud of them and all they have accomplished. It is an honor to do so.” - Anonymous
“It’s the lover’s role to care of the loved, and it follows that the loved becomes lovers themselves.” - Lucy, 23
“It’s everyone’s job to care. For whom is more complicated. It would be charming to say it is everyone’s responsibility to care for everyone, but that’s just untenable. Instead, I’d say everyone is responsible to care, and to do no harm.
I care for my children, my spouse, my family, my colleagues and employees, and in my small way, for everyone, by aiming to do no harm, by not putting ‘me’ before ‘you’.” -Ann, 40“I think that care needs to become a universal constant, instead of a role.” - Kate, 23
“This question makes me think of my aunt and uncle caring for my elderly grandmother. Though they had nine children, my grandmother was taken in by one of her youngest because she is the most financially and emotionally stable one of her siblings. I don’t think it’s only my aunt’s role to care — we all care for my grandmother — but she has had the most responsibility. This may be a border trend: the most responsible ones in our society end up assuming most of the care responsibilities.” -Anonymous, 32
“I think it is the responsibility of all of us to care -- to care for others, our world, our institutions, and ourselves. I think we live in communities in order to better care for children especially. I mean this is an evolutionary biology sense -- we are social animals so that children are more likely to successfully reach adulthood and carry on the species. I think that we, as a society, deny this basic truth though.
I just came back from visiting my sister in Houston. She is caring for my bedridden mother and I went to care for my sister. It was an honor and joy to do that small act of caring. ” - Julia, 58“Caring for others should be a universal value. The challenge is that many people will not ask to be cared for, and therefore, they become invisible. This is one way, occasionally, that those with mental illness, or the elderly, or others who might necessarily believe they deserve care, recede farther into the shadows of society.” - Anonymous
“It’s my role to care and I take it on gladly. But when I see you acting as if you don’t are, it’s hard for me to care. Can I lead by example? Do I care to? I’d rather think that we all care than be triggered to spiral down into disappointment or disillusionment.” - Anonymous, 60
“My role as mama is to care. About everything! To care for small human’s every whim: physical, emotional, mental, creative. Play is simultaneously exhilarating, rewarding, exhausting, tedious, and fun. The list continues. But to show care, and in it, so much love, is truly the most important thing I can do. Not only from them, but for me, too.” - Liz, 37
“I have come to believe, against what I have been taught, that the role of care should be shared by everyone in a community. We do so by meeting everyone’ s needs for respect, dignity, housing, food, value, safety, love etc. In my own community, we often dispose of those whose needs are too arduous, too expensive, too “radical” to care for. We put those people in prisons, criminalize them, defer the responsibility of care onto those ill-equipped to understand and support divergence from the norm.
The caring economy often relies on the unpaid emotional labor, especially fo women/ women of color. But a just society would share that burden and reap the collective rewards of mutual safety without the threat of violence, poverty or disposability dictating our actions.
In a society that puts such a burden of care on specific individuals, sometimes it’s necessary to engage our community to care for those who use abuse and perpetuate cycles of harm. That burden should not fall on the person who has experienced that trauma.” - Liz, 30“We have a collective responsibility to care for each other, regardless of our “formal” or identified connection, family, community, etc. Our survival depends on our ability and willingness to see ourselves as caretakers — of our natural world, our mental and physical health, our loved ones and our strangers. The act of caring is two-fold: nurturing; but also an authentic curiosity and investment in the future. As a teacher, I tell my students that they should seek out the thing they care about — that caring is the first step to change and growth, a fire within that keeps us burning with hope.” - Anonymous, 29