Berkshire Artist Spotlight: Bill Yehle, “For Caiden”

With the support of Assets for Artists, CARE SYLLABUS put out a call in the Fall of 2021 for local artists to share work exploring the different meanings of care in their lives. Our first submission in this series is “For Caiden,” a poem by Bill Yehle dedicated to his grandson.

For Caiden 

in a dream 
you 
and by you 
i mean someone 
was asking about a puppy
that was actually a child
in a back seat 
of a station wagon 
on the bowery 
when that was a thing 
i remember photos rolled to fit
tucked into a tin can 
pride in the palm 
of an outstretched hand
offered as story 
not metaphor 
in anxious 
america 

in some dreams 
there isn’t an horizon 
only the tired brick facades
of boxed canyons 
and a country’s 
broken promises 
exhaustion 
the hallucinogen 
that confuses 
spilled ink 
with a lost archive 

in a dream 
you 
and by you
i mean a country 
is holding a child 
in your hand 
and measuring the child’s skin
for a new hat 
weighing words 
against running for your life
i offer another child / photo
from the tuck of the tin can
ask you 
and by you 
i mean a country 
to say i love you 
to promise 
to never mistake 
his skin 
for a weapon 

in a dream 
you 
and by you 
i might mean you 
or somebody 
or an entire country 
sits in silence when i ask you
to say i love you into 
the opening of the tin can
where every child 
once lived 
and you 
and by you 
i might mean you 
or somebody 
or an entire country 
can not let your lips
part long enough 
to whisper promises 
that you won’t keep anyway 

in a dream 
you 
and by you 
i mean a country 
can’t imagine the anguish 
that rips skin open 
to allow a country’s history inside
to loot and pillage 
imagine that your body 
could be taken from you 
at any time 
that your flesh 
could become a protest 
in a street 

in a dream 
you 
and by you 
i mean you 
are too young to understand
the words i love you 
not yet a year has passed 
you know love but not the word for it
you are still aspiring to stand
or at least to crawl 
and i’m telling you things 
you can’t possibly understand
and hopefully 
will never need to understand
unforgivable things 
about a country
in the darkness of a future night
you 
and by you 
i mean the dark sky 
are the secret garden 
we forget 
every morning 
the garden 
holding all the horrible 
all the hallowed 
and you 
and by you 
i mean you (caiden) 
will someday navigate 
the space between then
and now 
in that space beyond hashtags
(in that space) 
know that you are sacred
know that you are a holy land
one holy among the infinity of
all possible 
holies